Many people have asked me why I've quit the tournaments, and many more are likely perplexed why I would quit something that is seemingly so successful and fun. At the core, I've quit because I have accomplished everything I can in this space. I was never trying to "grow my channel" or do whatever streamers do on Twitch. I need a challenge and these tournaments are no longer challenging to me. We've worked out all the kinks, and it's now a paint by numbers affair. I was working towards making them bigger, through partnerships with game developers, Twitch Rivals, etc. But without a team behind me, there's no way I can make this happen. Or at least I'm unwilling to sacrifice the quality of the rest of my life for this.
This has been a mostly solo endeavor since day one, and it's too much work with too little payoff to maintain. Yes, I had help from amazing people out there like JoeDD, FaraazKhan, SlipperySuzie, and VikingBarudda, but we needed more. I asked for more help, but nobody was willing to put in the work in the way I did. I spent nearly 40 hours of work for every 6-8 hour tournament. The majority of my time was spent off screen with no compensation. It's really hard to motivate others to do the same unless they really believe in the end goal. Faraaz and I tried our best to motivate the team to that end, but in the end solo careers were prioritized over the team. I don't begrudge anyone for that decision though--sometimes the costs outweigh the benefits and you need to prioritize.
The grass roots tournaments we did were fun as hell and I'm proud of every single one. We persevered through so much, met so many challenges head on, and did what nobody else had ever done in Dark Souls content. We had real eSport quality events on a budget, and I'm proud of what we did and everyone who was involved. I also proved that with hard work, you can still cut through all the challenges of Twitch, of which there are many, and succeed in creating great content.
WE NEED TO BE BETTER
While I had an amazing time working with so many streamers, it also reminded me why I really hate Twitch culture. At its core, it's a free-for-all of people vying for viewers and growth at almost any cost. Among streamers, it's not really a community. People rarely do things for one another just because. And the "friendships" you have on this platform only last as long as your last stream.
It's basically like the Los Angeles movie star culture but with gamers
I had barely announced I was quitting the tournaments before the vultures were already circling to see how they could snatch up all the viewers. Maybe at least wait for my body to go cold before you pick at the scraps?
I made what I consider real friends on the platform, but I can count them on one hand. It's...just the nature of things. I don't think you can forge lasting relationships on the internet, or at minimum, it's very difficult. That being said, to anyone who ever needs anything from me ever, just reach out on discord (McRaptor#7668) or !discord in my Twitch channel. I'm a mentor in my "real job" and I love helping others succeed. And if you worked on one of the tournaments, I'll 100% vouch for you in a letter of recommendation or whatever you need career wise. Just send me a message at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I have just started writing an epic fantasy novel (with some light Dark Souls influence of course). I've been wanting to do this for a long time and finally the time is right. Writing has no limits to creativity, and I'm very excited to be starting this project. I'll have a lot of free time now that I'm not in a constant cycle of tournament planning. In fact, right after publishing this blog post, I'm sketching out the first section of the book. Hopefully you'll see the book in the future on Amazon or a real bookshelf (if bookstores still exist).
I am also exploring some potential gaming content for Youtube. It's likely to be related to World of Warcraft (especially the new Classic mode coming soon). Add me on battle.net if you play WoW, McRaptor#1880.
So there you go guys. That's my story. The memories I have of the tournaments are fond, and I'll always remember the day a little raptor made it to the top of Twitch. I don't regret a single moment of it.
P.S. If you start to tear up and get nostalgic, don't forget the VODs are all up on Youtube.
With love, Eric "McRaptor"